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Cougars Have Smarter Kids…But Do They Want Them?

Cougars Have Smarter Kids
photo by: Harlequeen

A recent study found that men may have a biological clock after all: The children of older fathers were found to have lower IQ scores than those of younger dads. And this is in addition to earlier studies showing that schizophrenia and autism are more common in the offspring of men who were in their mid forties or older when they fathered them.

But things get really interesting when you combine these results with the corresponding data for women, as our friend Emily Nussbaum at New York mag did: Older mothers have been shown to have smarter children. Going by this data alone, the most intelligent children would be the progeny of “45-year-old career women inseminated by their 21-year-old personal trainers.” In other words, science is squarely in favor of the cougar relationship. Perhaps the ne-plus-ultra cougar Madonna should be looking to her boytoy Jesus for a sperm donation instead of adopting another baby from Malawi.

But what this (admittedly loose) interpretation of the research misses out on is that half the appeal of the cougar is that she’s been there and done the whole kids and marriage thing. Either that or she never wanted it in the first place. Cougars are supposed to like sex and martinis in the afternoon — and even the smartest newborn in the world will put a damper on that hobby.

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