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Weekend at Barney's

Turns out that Palin’s personal shopper is none other than the Rove protegee and robo-caller Jeff Larson! [thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com] If I you were at Barneys a few weekend ago in the scarf section, you probably overheard something like this:

LARSON: Ooo, I love this!

BARNEY’S SALESWOMAN: Yes, that is a favorite among our customers. Fox on the outside, rabbit on the inside.

LARSON: Ohmigod! Sarah would go nuts for this. It’s just perfect for those winters in Alaska. You know it gets cold up there.

BARNEY’S SALESWOMAN: Yes. I was aware. I have to warn you, that while no one has protests purchases at our store, PETA has been sending angry letters to us for carrying this item.

LARSON: Of course. Damnit. The last thing we need is a photo of Sarah wearing this circulating on the blogs.

BARNEY’S SALESWOMAN: Can I show you some other items that might be of interest?

LARSON: Please!

BARNEY’S SALESWOMAN: Here we have our cashmere collection. This red would really look incredible on the governor.

LARSON: Cashmere comes from animals, right?

BARNEY’S SALESWOMAN: Yes.

LARSON: Let’s steer clear of anything that used to have four legs attached to it.

BARNEY’S SALESWOMAN: Surely.

LARSON: What are all these items over here?

BARNEY’S SALESWOMAN: Oh, that’s the clearance section.

LARSON: Well on principle I tend not to look at anything on sale, but this is just stunning!

BARNEY’S SALESWOMAN: Yes, it’s part of our Patriot Collection.

LARSON: Patriot? Perfect. Sold.

BARNEY’S SALESWOMAN: Yes, you have the red, white and blue, of course, but also the words, “vote” and of course the traditional symbol for the…

LARSON: I’ll take it!

BARNEY’S SALESWOMAN: Okay! Great, I’ll ring that up with the jackets, skirts, and the, (clears her throat)…undergarment.

LARSON: Oh yes, you can put that undergarment in a separate bag.

BARNEY’S SALESWOMAN: Yes Sir.

A few weeks later in Reno…

PALIN: Oh, how adorable! This scarf has horses with special needs on it! It will go perfectly with the speech.

AIDE: Um, Governor, I think those are donkeys.

PALIN: You’re just a city girl, what the heck do you know about animals? I don’t have time for this, I have a rally to get to.

A few minutes later…

–Jamie Wong