Eleventh-Hour Name Calling

Dave the Dentist, Tito the Builder, Joe the Florist, Phil the Bricklayer and Pam the Republican Teacher are just a few of the characters John McCain has met in his own great schlep through Central Florida the critical battleground states of Ohio and Florida. While Sarah Palin is running around spouting keywords like “terrorist” and “god” to appeal to her base, McCain is reaching out to blue-collar workers, which McCain seems to have turned into the corny nickname demographic.

McCain has continued his attacks by framing Obama as a “Socialist” because he believes it’s good for everyone to “spread the wealth.”

“Let’s be clear who John McCain is fighting for. He is not fighting for Joe the Plumber. He’s fighting for Joe the Hedge Fund Manager,” [ap.google.com] Obama said.

Is anyone else sick of this ridiculous rhetoric?! Have we just run out of things to talk about? I feel like this election has turned into one of those parties that has gone way past it’s prime, and people are just kinda lingering around because they don’t want to go home, and they’re drunk and high and tired and don’t really know what else to say so they start doing things making each other laugh with farts. Then there’s that guy who really has nothing to say, but he’s trying to keep the conversations going and make some friends, so he starts making up nicknames: “hey it’s little fart-a-lot Francis over here! Hey Stingy Sarah, pass those chips! Oh, what a surprise, Political Penelope going to an Obama meet-up tomorrow!”

It’s cute at first, but this gets old.

The issues are out there. We know the candidates’ policies, we know their daemons, we even know tiny of their medical history [www.nytimes.com] (which is personally enough for me. I get the gist—Biden had an aneurism, McCain has recurring melanoma has suffered from PTSD and is likely to kick the bucket within the next decade, Palin gave birth to four or five kids and Obama has excellent abs. This is more than I know about my friend’s bodies. It’s enough).

–Jamie Wong