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Don't Hate Her Because She's Beautiful!

Sarah Palin is driving “liberal feminists” crazy because she is “attractive,” “competent” and “very happy,” according to Bill Bennet and McCain’s campaign manager Rick Davis. On Bennet’s radio show [www.youtube.com] yesterday, together, the two guys finally cracked the code on the frustration coming from women on the left:

DAVIS: It’s a threat to them. These various liberal feminists who have had a lock on what is an isn’t an appropriate role in America for women see a working mother, you know someone who is raising five kids, one with special needs, and being able to serve as governor of a big state with lots of challenges, and it drives them nuts that she’s a conservative republican. And the fact that she’s been promoted within the party drives them really crazy.

BENNETT: I don’t know which drives them more crazy. Let me give you three things that I think drives them crazy, and you don’t have to comment. That’s she’s very attractive. That she’s very competent or that she’s very happy. You know, as a human being.

DAVIS: Yeah, all of the above.

I’m happy these gentlemen could put political correctness aside for once in and get to the heart of why women on the left hate Sarah Palin. And it is, undoubtedly envy that’s got their panties in a knot. As a politically liberal woman who believes in women’s rights, I must admit: nothing paints me green more than a mother who is juggling five children—including a newborn with Downs syndrome—, while zigzagging across the country and ruining [www.msnbc.msn.com] her party’s hope for winning the White House and then smiling at all the hoots and hollers from horny men in the crowds.

Of course this makes me crazy. As a “liberal feminist,” I consider traits such as being attractive, competent and happy as belonging to the devil.

Ugh, I can’t keep writing. In fact, I can’t seem to be able to finish work today or run any of the errands I need to do. Incapable of writing full sentences me is. Oh man, and these thrift store mom jeans are getting a little tight on the backside. I’m eating too many organic potato chips. At least that wart on my nose will distract people from my growing uni-brow. What’s the use? I’m going to keep on not brushing my hair and wipe poop all over my face now. Eco-friendly facial! Then I’m going to think about all the things I hate about myself, the first thing being how I’m not Sarah Palin.

–Jamie Wong