Bachmann-Palin Overdrive

I met a devil woman, she took my heart away
She said I had it comin’ to me, but I wanted it that way
I think that any love is good lovin’
And so I took what I could get, mmm
Oooh, oooh, she looked at me with big brown eyes
And said

You ain’t seen nothin’ yet

C’mon, all you wingnuts. Let it all hang out. It’s not enough that Republicans have spent the last eight years questioning the patriotism of anyone who disagreed with them. Do you think Rush Limbaugh, Michael Savage and Sean Hannity have been calling Democrats and liberals America-hating surrender monkeys because they needed to fill airtime? No, no, it’s a call to action. They’ve merely been paving the way for our elected leaders to start parroting the same ugly rhetoric in more polite society. Laying down the tracks for the crazy train, as it were.

And here’s the Sarah Palin Express, right on time []:

“We believe that the best of America is not all in Washington, D.C. We believe…We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard working very patriotic, um, very, um, pro-America areas of this great nation.”

She continued: “This is where we find the kindness and the goodness and the courage of everyday Americans. Those who are running our factories and teaching our kids and growing our food and are fighting our wars for us. Those who are protecting us in uniform. Those who are protecting the virtues of freedom.”

That’s the stuff. The rural snobbery, the implication that urban areas are anti-American cesspools where one could scarcely find a trace of decency in the people there, who do not work hard or care for their children or fight in our wars. Where city cops are wimps, or at the very least not “everyday Americans.” The closer you live to a dense population, the more elite and unpatriotic you are, and unworthy of “pro-America” status. Take Virginia, for example []. Southern Virginia, where McCain is polling well, is the “real Virginia.” I don’t know what those posers in northern Virginia are, that close to DC, but they’re obviously not Virginians. Not real ones, anyway. Probably French.

Surprisingly, Joe Biden pushed back [] instead of the more traditional “Thank you sir, may I have another” Democratic response. Instead of clucking his tongue and offering a stern tsk-tsking, Biden got all indignant with his “We are one nation, under God, indivisible” rant, and he didn’t even have his hand over his heart like you’re supposed to! Besides, all “real” Americans know the only parts of the Pledge of Allegiance that matter are the words “pledge,” “allegiance” and “under God.” “Indivisible?” Please. If the GOP wants to be divisive, they damn well will be, and they’ll start with a little McCarthyesque inquisition into people like Joe Biden and Barack Obama, at least if Minnesota Rep. Michelle Bachmann has anything to say about it. Bachmann added to her long list of……..interesting behavior [] with this trend-setting exchange with Chris Matthews on Friday’s Hardball []:

Matthews: Well, he’s the United States Senator from Illinois, he’s one of the people you suspect as being anti-American. How many people in the Congress of the United States do you think are anti-American? You’ve already suspected Barack Obama. Is he alone, or are there others?

Bachmann: [Deer in the headlights]

Matthews: How many do you suspect of your colleagues do you suspect of being anti-American?

Bachmann: I would say, what I would say is that the news media should do a penetrating expose and take a look — I wish they would. I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out, are they pro-America or anti-America? I think the people would love to see an expose like that.

Now that’s “takin’ care of business.” I can already hear the Great Plains militias and border town Minute Men polishing their rifles a little faster. But why stop there? Instead of an expose, why not hold congressional hearings? Congress could investigate itself for any signs of rampant anti-Americanism. Rep. Bachmann would clearly be an ideal inquisitor. Come on people, fascist states don’t just create themselves, you know. Rep. Steve King? We haven’t heard anything nutty out of you lately. Boehner? Lieberman? Where’s the Senate on this? I know you can all crank up the volume to ’11.’ Tick tock, time’s a-wastin. I know you won’t let me down.

‘Cause b-b-b-baby you just ain’t seen n-n-nothin’ yet.

– Michael Turner